No matter how old I get, I still miss being able to ask my mom for advice, know that if all else failed, I could move back home, borrow money, ask her what to do, pick up the phone & tell her about my day. It was nice having that sense of security; to know I had a fail- safe backup plan. I had someone who thought that everything I did was great, who always told me I was doing a good job whenever I felt like I wasn't accomplishing enough. The reality was, moving in with her & my step-dad would've been a last resort but I knew I was always welcome if that's what I needed to do. I would borrow money from her but I'd wait until I had no other options & then I'd pay her back as soon as possible. I'd ask her for advice but now wish I'd taken it more often...We had a complicated relationship. My favorite memories are of the years that I worked for her/with her & of the times we spent together with my son while he was growing up...she had a huge impact on his life & made sure to tell him that she loved him & was proud of him. My son was very lucky to have not only my mom, but his other Grandmother, who is still wonderful to him & 3 Grandfather's who were a big influence on him & showed their love for him every day.
My mom died in 2002 & today, February 5th is her anniversary. This year feels different... she's been on my mind more than ever & in my dreams... has it really been 12 years since she died? It feels like it was yesterday.
She was my best friend. She died of Cancer & never accepted it when the doctor's told her she was terminal. My mother tried everything in hopes of getting a reprieve, getting one more test result that said the Cancer was in remission....if sheer will & determination decided the outcome of her Cancer treatments she would still be here with us now & that's what I remember when I need inspiration to tackle something tough, that compared to Cancer, isn't tough at all!
I love this picture of us ...I wish I could remember the exact moment we were sharing when it was taken; to me, it looks like she might be telling me to behave/share/listen, etc. but maybe not...
anyway, I love her ankle socks!
Regina , my mom; September 7, 1926-February 5, 2002 I love you Mom xoxo
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| My mother, Regina & me around 1954 |
